Rebecca Liu-Brennan 0:09
Well, hello friends I heard you are all super amazing. I am here today with the incredible Amanda, how are you going? Amanda?
Amanda Barr 0:18
I am so good. My love. I always love chatting to you. It's so good to chat so many, you know different topics today and I'm excited about today's topic. But first, I have to tell you I went and saw and Juliet on the weekend. Oh my god, I was so I was so lucky. I got tickets to the premiere. God it was incredible. Have you seen it?
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 0:38
No, I'm so I was so jealous of you. Actually, I really wanted to be there. And you know that? Um, I have not seen I've got tickets twice to it because I'm so excited about it. I think you're the one who told me about in the first place. I didn't even know it was a thing. But it looks
Amanda Barr 0:53
epic. Tell me about it. So, so good. Like I'm actually going again on the weekend because I'm taking Gigi for her birthday. So I'm going twice in the week. But oh my god, like it is so good. I think because it's different, right? Like, obviously the music's fun and party vibe. But I love that you don't know the whole story. I love that you don't actually know how it's going to end rather than when you go to more like classic musicals like obviously, we all know the story before we go. It's still enjoyable, but we know the storyline. It was fun to depsite in different right.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 1:23
Yeah, it looks so good. I'm so excited. I've listened to some of the music from it. And it is incredible. So yeah, I'm super super pumped. I think we're going next weekend.
Amanda Barr 1:33
Oh, really? There you go. How that soon, so exciting. Oh my gosh, I just love it. Look, we're both big musical theatre junkies and love going to see any of the shows and oh my god so much fun. So much fun. But that is not why we're here to talk about today. Just always aside interesting thing, just what I did on my weekend, but I'm
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 1:54
gonna chat about that. So look, I think today's topic is very interesting. And you may or may not know this, but I am I'm a major and I have our calendars together at zoom accounts and all the things because we work together all the time. So we need to schedule things in but I know your girls time that dancing like I know sassy today has ballet and trooping. So that if you realise that that little calendar, Larry not
Amanda Barr 2:21
know that I did not know that that is interesting. I did not realise that. That that all sunk. Ceci is at ballet entry right now. So she's just about finished if you've checked your calendar. Anyway,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 2:35
when I saw that I thought an interesting topic could be what's it like now being a dance mom, because you used to own the studio, you now don't own the studio, but you are still a dance bum, two, three years who are very into all the things, obviously, because they are in the studio. How's that going? I'm like, tell me all the things. How's it all going?
Amanda Barr 2:59
Well, oh, my gosh, so many parts to this, right. So obviously, there's the strange part of not owning the studio. And you know, the strange part of going up and seeing the staff that used to be my staff that are no longer my staff, me just not being able to help myself and you know, pick up the rubbish on the street out the front, or, you know, this today, I wanted to clean the bathrooms because obviously a child had been in right before me who had made a mess. I'm like, Oh, don't have to do that anymore. That's always fun. You know, there's all of that, which is odd, of course. But the dance mom thing is an interesting chat. Because let's be honest, that I don't know if you do this back or not. But most studio owners who have their children dancing, make the timetables work just a little bit for them so that it works in with their schedule as much as possible, right? Oh,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 3:53
absolutely. I make the whole timetable around baby and have done since she was little because she's at her dad's every second weekend. So we've never had classes for her on Saturday. And it's only really this year, to be honest, that we've put classes on a Friday night because she has to because it's ballet night, and she's got to do that higher level ballet now. But yeah, I've always done that, for sure. Yeah. And
Amanda Barr 4:17
I did too, like I had, you know, obviously, of course, the studio owners, we make sure our timetable works for all the parents and you know that it's the best. But I also made sure it worked for me as well, when I did it, especially with three girls, so I'd have them you know, like finishing at the same time and stuff like that. So, you know, it's interesting, and obviously I've got three girls dancing, which most people like, that's not the norm. I guess most people would only ever have like, two children or one would probably be more on average. But I tell you what, three girls dancing. It's a lot. It's a lot because my three girls finish they all dance. Four nights, at least my oldest dancers five, and they all finish at different times, every single night. It's a lot, you know, and we live off. Like, it's only about 15 minutes from the studio. But it's enough that it's hard to be doing the different times, I guess. And, you know, there's a lot of driving back and forth, and we don't have people to share lives with as well, because of where we live and all of that I do have help with my elder daughter. But yeah, it's a lot, right.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 5:34
That's crazy. So I'm looking at your timetable. Now. You've got it open. Like, I just think sometimes it's really interesting for us to look at it from a different perspective, because we don't think about these things. And I think sometimes we forget how crazy parents lives are, like, you know, like, when that kid gets late to an a Stanford and you're like, how dare they get late to this depot. And you probably just haven't thought about the fact that the parents got a two year old and a five year old, or the two year old, probably had a meltdown before they had to leave it. There's so many moving parts. And
I didn't realise that until like one had five kids. I had to like, just had those jobs I before I had children, I had no idea. So Saturday finishes at 515. Today, Gigi finishes at 645 and zali finishes at 815. And it's a half hour round trip for you to get from studio to back home.
Amanda Barr 6:32
I have to wait. Yep, I have to allow about 35 minutes. It's a lot.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 6:39
If you're listening, so my face right now it's just a peek over your mouth going Holy shit, that is a lot. And is that most nights Is that how it's every
Amanda Barr 6:46
night? Yeah, pretty much every night. And they all start at different times, but their school is out there too. So I pick up from school have to be at school pick up just before three, I usually drop the three of them off at the same time or, and the older girls just have to wait. Because I am actually pushed to get there from school for the first class of the afternoon. And, or I hang out with the older ones, you know, for an hour or something and then drop them off a little bit early, we go down the street or whatever. Did you not know I did
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 7:23
didn't know that you were there. I just didn't think about all of the logistics as you don't people just don't think about it. And that is like that is crazy dedicated Hey,
Amanda Barr 7:33
well, it means that I'm basically in my car from I have to leave for school, you know about 240 or something till about 830 back and forth, pretty much. But I guess you know, that's a choice I make right? You know, that's not a problem. And I'm okay with that, that's fine. The actual driving itself doesn't bother me. What I'd love to talk about though, is the effects that has on my family. Because I think that's the different bit the dry, I actually quite like being the one that drives and Nathan being the one stuck at home with little people or whatever that's actually, you know, sometimes it's easier job to go on the drive for half an hour, right? than being at home with the kids or whatever, or cooking dinner or whatever that is. But I think the interesting thing that a lot of studio owners should really, you know, think about is the effects that it has on my family. So obviously, my older daughter who finishes at 850, and each night, so she's not home to that look at their class normally finishes a little bit late as well. So she's not often home till 840 or so. So and you know, she's been there straight from school, so she needs to come home, have dinner, you know, do all the things. But I also have a five year old, who has some medical issues on top of that, you know, there's a lot going on for her. And it's very late for her to be going to bed. You know if you know and for us to be up and down and back and forth. And in and out of the house. It's hard for her to settle because she knows that we're leaving and coming in and out and doing all the things. It's actually that part that's harder, is working out the family life, I guess.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 9:13
Yeah, I had the same issues. And I know he's my studio, but babies obviously older now. So her classes are finishing around the same time like that 830 kind of time. And by the time she gets home and has dinner and then everyone else, as you said like Phoenix would never go
Amanda Barr 9:30
to bed without absolutely not gonna happen. So I say well, don't do that. Yeah,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 9:34
same thing, like, our kids are going to bed really late. And it is what it is. But I guess it's just having we're not telling everyone to change their timetables. Oh, absolutely not. I'm certainly not going to change my timetable. And I understand the constraints of that. But sometimes you just don't realise the moving parts in people's lives, I guess. And we get so cranky about the fact that a child's late for class or I think it was Tell the story before a minute about I got really cranky at a kid last year because I was late for class. And the mom got really angry with me. And when I thought about it, and when I found out about that, I realised that it was actually like, such a stupid thing for me to get angry about, like, just so silly for me to get upset about that, because there are so many moving parts in that month life that afternoon. I just hadn't considered it, but I just think, a bit of
Amanda Barr 10:25
compassion for that. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And I think that's a big thing. You know, I'd love to talk about Okay, so the weekend we had a crazy weekend last weekend. As I mentioned, I went to en Juliet on the Friday night. It was Nathan's 40th. It was g on Saturday, it was JGS. ninth birthday. We had a school fete we had to attend which their school is like a really big deal. And we had JGS birthday party. All the things. Okay, so it was a bit of a crazy weekend in our house. Now sassy, my five year old, had cheer rehearsals all weekend. And look, I was that parent, and I didn't read my note 100% my fault should have read my note, I didn't know it was on until the week before. It had been out for weeks beforehand. So I was that parent, whose child basically didn't go to the fall, it was two full day rehearsals, because it was the choreography where they have choreographer come in and choreograph the whole routine. And I was reflecting on that a little bit as a studio owner, to be honest, like there was no problems with the teacher or the studio. No, they completely understood why we weren't there. It was fine. How I was reflecting from when I was a studio owner, and I would be pissed. If one of the kids said to me, Hey, it's my sister's birthday party. And I have a school fete. So I can't come to rehearsal, I would have been absolutely pissed about that, especially if this was an international choreographer they bought in. And if one of the kids had said that to me, like, that's completely like, I would have been bitching about them, like, you know, I would have been okay with them to their face, but with my staff would have been like, Oh, for God's sake, it's just a kid's birthday party, do they not understand that this kid isn't going to know the whole routine, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, that would have always been me. And as I said, the studio was fine about it. That wasn't a drama. However, what you know, flipping it and seeing it from a parent's perspective. My five year old, who, as I said, has, Look, she's got a strong personality, Sass is a strong personality, kid. Sassy, has a lot of sass, she had been looking forward to this school fate. For so long, she was in kindergarten, the school had been really pushing that it's compulsory, they all have to be there, it's part of the thing they have to, you know, they have to participate in a class item, you know, that everyone's relying on them that they must be there. She was also then really excited about her sister's birthday party, because that's a big thing and a five year olds life. So when I said to her, Hey, you're not going to be able to come which I did try to the birthday party, you have to go to your cheer rehearsal, because you've made a commitment to a team. There is she just didn't understand. She couldn't comprehend that. And she's like, No, I'll just go before and then like, she just couldn't, it was just too much for her. And, you know, I just think I think sometimes it's you and it's we just see it from our perspective and don't always see it from other people's. I guess that's kind of my point, right? Not that there was any drama. Not that you can't have that rehearsal. Like you've got to do what you got to do. It's just hard, right? There's all the juggling parts, all
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 13:50
the juggling parts, and it's, yeah, like it's completely reasonable on both sides. Like you can see that the studio under spent a lot of money they've done absolutely no doubt early, but you can also see it from the parents side. There's one I thought today's episode was interesting, because it's just like living things that little bit. I think I flipped my mindset a lot, even just since having more kids come into our family. So you know, as you know, we're a blended family. And I only have one child out of five that dances and that in itself is hard because it's like, obviously she has a lot more on and it gets a lot more attention and if she has stuff on the weekends, it's all about her. Well now we've got multiple children wanting to do multiple sports and the juggling of getting them to different places. It's it is life is crazy as a parent life is crazy. Hey, yeah. Have you found like having to buy costumes and uniforms and
Amanda Barr 14:49
look, it is? Absolutely and you know, we had this week so all three girls are starting soccer. That's a whole nother thing because I have three kids playing Soccer like, I don't know how you do it, you've got fired but I have three kids playing soccer on a Saturday in three different locations starting in like two weeks away. There's only two of us. How on earth do we make that happen? You know, so, so hard, right? And so we have that. So, you know, this week for example. We had to buy new competition tracksuits. Cool. No problems times three though. $150. A tracksuit times three. Yep, absolutely fine. I understand. It has to happen. But also this week, I had to buy soccer boots times three. That was 200. And something dollars, it was probably closer to 300. I think there were like $90 each, and to buy. What are they called, I don't even know, their soccer uniform, their shorts, their jersey, their socks, all of that shin pads did you have to buy shin pads, I have to buy shin pads. You know what I mean, and all of a sudden this week, and obviously, it's not a normal week. But this week, I've got $1,000 worth of extras, quite easily, without even trying, it's probably more I haven't actually added it up. But you know, without trying, let's not including the birthday party that one of my kids is going to this week plus, you know, the birthday party that I paid for last weekend that, you know, there's all of those things as parents, right. So, you know, once again, there was no problems with the price of any of those. And that's what I would never, I would never suggest to a studio not to not charge what you're worth, and not to put the profit on by any stretch of the imagination. However, I think it's important to have compassion around it, and making sure you give people enough time to budget for things and giving them like an outline. Yeah, yes,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 16:51
I think the time is really important. I think the understanding is really important. And I think also giving them payment options where they can pay it off in different instalments. So, you know, I was talking about Shopify, with costumes and what we use that they have this for payment option now where you can pay things off in instalments, I think, you know, just making sure that parents have that. We've heard so many horror stories over the years, Amanda of people who are like, putting their costumes out, and then in two weeks time they expect these parents to come up with $3,000 worth of costumes or something. Yeah, that's crazy. You know, like, and I understand. We are the first people to say put profit on things, and absolutely yourself. We're not we're definitely not saying that. But we are saying be organised enough to give people time and be understanding that more things can come up in their lives.
Amanda Barr 17:45
Absolutely. And different people need to budget for different things. For example, you know, in my scenario, I was actually given about six weeks. Notice for both of those things, I chose to pay it in the same week, because obviously I could do that, like so that it's not me, you know, complaining about it, but it is just, you know, just something to think about when you're putting things out to your parents, because you also don't know about what happened with their child's soccer this week, or what their school fees that just happened to be due this week. You know, there's all of those things or, you know, the dishwasher that broke down the, you know, life happens for people. So I think it's about Yeah, giving a reasonable amount of time and being upfront about things as well and offering payment options. I think that's a great, a great point to back.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 18:32
You know, it also makes me laugh. So I'm sure that you got a note. It was on band, it was probably like, you probably had multiple communications about that too.
Amanda Barr 18:45
For rehearsal.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 18:49
Same thing, like we always get so cranky with parents, we hear it all the time. And you and I were talking to our clients and they're like, Oh, we set this out of this out and they still didn't read it. And it's just so annoying. That it's like you were a studio owner and you didn't read it.
Amanda Barr 19:06
Absolutely. Like stuff happens. My five year old came home on Monday. So the the rehearsal was suddenly my five year old came home and went, mummy we have cheer on the weekend. I'm like, No, you don't. There's no competition this weekend. It's too early in the season. You don't have cheer. You do have it on some weekends. When you start doing your competitions. You'll start doing it on weekends. And I like you know, and she's like, No, we haven't this weekend. We have to go all weekend. It's the whole time and I'm like, No, you're wrong. She was right. She knew what she was talking.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 19:41
I feel like like you'd see the same but I'm just so bad with dates and stuff. VTX came over. Felix came home yesterday and said we could the Easter hat parade in a couple of days that I've like, got I've got two days to make a hat.
Amanda Barr 19:55
Oh, the figs look, you know and normal app to be honest, like, I know we talk about different with most things, I'm pretty good with notes. Me personally, I'm pretty good with keeping on top of my kids stuff. But it's just been a crazy couple of weeks with Expo. And it slipped through the cracks. So you know, just the same as you know, something might happen in your, in your parents life at the studio, like, you know, they might be having, you know, something go on, they might be having health issues, they might be having relationship issues, you don't kind of know what's happening in a parent's life. Obviously, we all have those parents that are just hopeless all the time. not knocking that because we do as studio owners, where there's always those parents that are just like, oh, my god, does that mom ever read anything? Does she ever pay anything on time, but I do think sometimes we just need to have some compassion. And think about it from the parents perspective as well.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 20:52
I think that's the key of today's being like we've talked about this in a few different realms, you know, think about the concert. From a parent's perspective, think about extra rehearsals on a Sunday. From a parent's perspective, think about, you know, there's so many different things that we do that we think the parents should just appreciate, they should appreciate that I'm doing that extra rehearsal on a Sunday, don't they realise that this means the kids are gonna be so much better and that they don't care?
Amanda Barr 21:18
Absolutely do not care? You know,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 21:21
do you care that sassy is choreographers from the US or the international choreographer. And that that means that you don't care about that, like in your
Amanda Barr 21:32
mind, and you know, that thing, I know that she would have gone to her class on Monday, and all the other kids would have known the routine and she didn't, it's going to be a problem. 100% She's also the youngest in the team. So I know, it's gonna be a problem. But you know, what, that weekend wasn't about her. And we'd already planned this huge weekend for my other for Nathan, and my other daughter's birthday. And like, I just couldn't do everything, I can't do every single thing at all times. And you know, it's just sometimes, you know, it is what it is like, dance can't be everyone's life, as much as we would love it to be as much as it's our life. As studio owners. It's not always going to be everything to every family. And so I think, you know, especially the extra rehearsals, that kills me, you know, the things like comps on like Father's Day or Mother's Day or, you know, in the holidays, even that affects family holidays. Like I really, I that's a big, you know, red flag to me, as studio owners, you really need to give a little bit more compassion to family life and how parents balance their child that dances but also the rest of their family around that. Yeah,
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 22:46
I totally agree. It's, it's an interesting way of looking at it. And it's certainly something that I'm always having to self reflect on at the studio is like, yeah, it's that whole fans first and ever talked about it, but it's just like, is this an ego decision? Or is the decision that's right for the parents and the families because one of our values is family, and most of you are and as you ask them what their values are, and one is always family? What does that actually mean? And I absolutely valuing family, because, you know, dance can be all life consuming. And that's fine. Like, I get that. But yeah, we just need to really think about that and consider it.
Amanda Barr 23:24
Absolutely. Hopefully, some studios kind of, you know, had a little bit of perspective, from today's and kind of hearing what it is a little bit like for me as a dance mom, you know, I wouldn't change it for the world. Don't get me wrong. I love being a dance mom, I also don't think as a studio owner, that you should ever drastically change anything you do to fit into people's family life. So, you know, I think just to be super clear that that's not at the point of this podcast. You know, you can't you can't please everybody, you can't make everything work as studio owners. But I do think just to give it some thought and reflect on how it makes it work. You know, the concert, I just, sorry, I'm just back on that. I know, I was wrapping up. But back on the concert. You know, what always made me think as well was what time that the students had to be there. Our concert was a good 45 minutes, 50 minutes drive away, what time the kids had to be there, and what the parent could do before the doors opened. And I think that's something we kind of need to think about things like that, like, how do you know that's a Christmas time when all the parents are running around and got so many things to do. Like really giving things like that some thought I think is just really imperative to making sure that you know, dance is a hobby that your kids are that your students can you know, keep and that it doesn't get to like tiresome for the parents and they end up pulling them because it's like, oh my god, dads take over my life about.
Rebecca Liu-Brennan 24:53
Exactly, exactly. It's so important for attention. It's so important for all the things well, thank you for that. Using insight, Amanda I love so much. Look forward to continuing to hear your journey as a dance mom. It's super interesting. And thanks, everyone for listening. We hope that that just made you self reflect a little bit today. I
Amanda Barr 25:14
can't wait to chat to you next week. Thanks guys. Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
